When you listen carefully, you pick up on the subtext, the subtle clues that reveal what is really important to the person. These clues come out as patterns in people’s language, repeated words, concepts, or feelings, or we may even discover information from what notions or comments people avoid. When you identify these triggers, you then ask them to expand upon them to clarify the underlining issue. ⠀
For example, if a seller says that he/she “wants to know what’s going on,” and asks about the systems you have in place to keep track of the details, and wants all the written material you have available on real estate sales, and asks if everything you’re saying it accurate, then you know that this person is seeking a sense of control. ⠀
You can confirm this assumption by asking him/her if your comments have made him feel like he has a grip on the issues. You can say something like, “I’m hearing that it’s important to you to have a sense of control over this process, is that right?” ⠀
Listen, identify what’s in between the lines and then reveal it by stating it back to the person in a clear and obvious way will do wonders in building a connection of trust and rapport.
Ken Goodfellow
Coach Ken International